hate is a strong word

I hate depression.
I hate my weight. I hate how I look. I hate how my clothes [don't] fit.
I hate that I'm so disgusted with myself but that I have no motivation to change.
I hate that I'm disappointing to my husband.
I hate that I don't have patience for my kids. I hate that I don't even like them sometimes.
I hate that I'm not a good friend. I hate that I can't easily pick up the phone.
I hate that I'm not comfortable being myself.
I hate that I'm not fun.
I hate that I have no confidence.
I hate being in charge of my kids. I hate that I'm screwing them up.
I hate that I'm afraid my kids are going to turn out too much like me. I hate that I see so much of myself in my daughter. And that I hate what I see.
I hate that I can't love myself. I hate that I recognize the things that make others not love me. Why would they?
I hate that I don't have anyone to talk to. I hate that we don't have friends to hang out with. I hate that this place feels so nice, so pretty, so comfortable, but so lonely.
I hate that I don't know the right answers.
I hate that I hate all this but I don't feel like I can do anything about any of it.
I hate depression.